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WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED
#1
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and guns.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, they are still your friend
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
___________________________________
Men Are Just Happier People


NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only
for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
want change back.
When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.


MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and
dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!
  Reply
#2
I like those RoyBig Grin

My garage http://www.7173mustangs.com/forum-garage...rxt_uid=40

73 mach 1 351c 4v cc ported, torker2, 750 edelbrock,C6.
73 fastback 351c 2v,performer intake,600 edelbrock,fmx, 325 trac-lok.
  Reply
#3
Good ones, Sir! beer

Doc

[Image: 6y14ea.jpg]

Project started 8-7-10
Completed: All new suspension, rebuilt 351C H Code bored .030 over with mild cam and intake, new 3.50 TracLok, custom exhaust system
Current "mini-project": interior upgrade Undecided
  Reply
#4
Good stuff...posted to faceook! LOL

[Image: 1gq8uo.png]
1971 Mach 1 - 306cid/C4 Bright Yellow
"Just relax, I've got a friend named Felix who can fix anything!" ~James Bond
  Reply
#5
Good ones! Now do I show them to my wife?



Mike AKA Ole Pony & Rare Pony

Our current Mustang garage/driveway
1973 Mustang Convert - Bought in 1974 - Still have it!
2004 Mach 1 Oxford White Auto, Bought Sept 06


[Image: 20180127_082009.jpg]

upload a photo on internet




  Reply
#6
OLE PONY;87210 Wrote:Good ones! Now do I show them to my wife?

YESAngel
  Reply
#7
LOL... great ones!


67 Diamond Blue Vert

[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRveIaRU6OAzTfd2Mv6ypG...mJJrHJ_B_Q]

DUDE

LOL even my sig line offended somebody!
  Reply
#8
Tnfastbk;87213 Wrote:
OLE PONY;87210 Wrote:Good ones! Now do I show them to my wife?

YESAngel

+1! But only while wearing a cup... Big Grin

Doc

[Image: 6y14ea.jpg]

Project started 8-7-10
Completed: All new suspension, rebuilt 351C H Code bored .030 over with mild cam and intake, new 3.50 TracLok, custom exhaust system
Current "mini-project": interior upgrade Undecided
  Reply
#9
73vertproject;87245 Wrote:
Tnfastbk;87213 Wrote:
OLE PONY;87210 Wrote:Good ones! Now do I show them to my wife?

YESAngel

+1! But only while wearing a cup... Big Grin

Good idea Wink



Mike AKA Ole Pony & Rare Pony

Our current Mustang garage/driveway
1973 Mustang Convert - Bought in 1974 - Still have it!
2004 Mach 1 Oxford White Auto, Bought Sept 06


[Image: 20180127_082009.jpg]

upload a photo on internet




  Reply
#10
Catholics have the Apostle creed.

This could be the men's creed...although I do think mullets are out.

[Image: 11jmcuc.png]
351C Bold Manners, Brash Attitude
Favorite Teams: Michigan Wolverines and Whoever Is Playing Ohio State.

When I drive past a herd of cows, the cows MOO at me
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