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Safe Driving - Humor
#1
OK - this was sent to me by a "politically incorrect" fellow car enthusiast.

ENJOY!

Driving In the Rain


Losing control of your car on wet pavement is a frightening experience. Unfortunately, it can happen unless you take preventive measures.

You can prevent skids by driving slowly and carefully, especially on curves. Steer and brake with a light touch. When you need to stop or slow, do not brake hard or lock the wheels and risk a skid. Maintain mild pressure on the brake pedal. If none of the options above present themselves, or if you tend to panic in this type of situation, then it might be a good idea if you just kept your silly ass at home.

If you do find yourself in a skid, remain calm, ease your foot off the gas, get your left index finger out of your nose, put your cell phone down and carefully steer in the direction you want the front of the car to go. For cars without anti-lock brakes, avoid using your brakes all together. This procedure, known as "steering into the skid," will bring the back end of your car in line with the front, which is okay unless the front of your car is already inside the trunk of the car in front of you. If your car has ABS, then you can probably afford to have the accident that you're going to have anyway. Nevertheless, brake firmly as you "steer into the skid."

While skids on wet pavement may be frightening, hydroplaning is an absolute sphincter-rattling experience. Hydroplaning happens when the water in front of your tires builds up faster than your car's weight can push it out of the way, or if you are participating in a drag race on water in an unlimited class speedboat. If your are doing the former, the water pressure causes your car to rise up and slide on a thin layer of water between your tires and the road. At this point, your car can be completely out of contact with the road, and you are in danger of skidding or
drifting out of your lane, or even off the road. This situation usually precipitates the need to do an extra load of laundry that night, and may also require the application of copious amounts of upholstery cleaner to the driver’s seat of your car.

To avoid hydroplaning, keep your tires properly inflated, maintain good tread on your tires and replace them when necessary, slow down when roads are wet, and stay away from puddles. Try to drive in the tire tracks left by the cars in front of you. Or, if you are unable to comply with the suggestions stated in the prior sentence, please refer to the last sentence in paragraph #2, i.e. (leave) your silly ass at home.

If you find yourself hydroplaning, enjoy it, as not many people get to ride in one of those types of boats. If this condition happens while in your car, however, do not brake or turn suddenly. This could throw your car into a skid. Ease your foot off the gas until the car slows and you can feel the road again. If you feel the need to brake and slow down, then you're a complete and total wimp. Nevertheless, do it gently with light pumping actions...uh, that's the brakes I'm still referring to. If your car has anti-lock brakes, once again, then it really doesn't matter; you're loaded and probably don't need any insurance. However, continue to brake normally; the car's computer will mimic a pumping action, when necessary.

A defensive driver adjusts his or her speed to the wet road conditions in time to avoid having to use any of these measures unless, of course, they want to get anywhere in the rain. In that case, the time-honored "driving by the braille method" will work every time!

Big Grin Big Grin

1971 Boss 351  
1972 Q code 4 speed convertible 
1971 Mustang Sportsroof  351-2V FMX 
1973 Mach 1 (parts car)
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#2
rofl That's a good one, Ray!

Doc

[Image: 6y14ea.jpg]

Project started 8-7-10
Completed: All new suspension, rebuilt 351C H Code bored .030 over with mild cam and intake, new 3.50 TracLok, custom exhaust system
Current "mini-project": interior upgrade Undecided
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#3
Good one! Since humor was injected people may even remember the truths therein. LOL

[Image: 386_07_10_13_5_58_42.jpeg]
My Mustangs:
71 M-code Mach 1, Medium Blue/White Sport, 4R70W, 3L50, Factory Ram Air.
72 Q-code Mach 1, Pewter/Black Sport, 4-spd, 3L25.
65 Convertible, Britney Blue/White/White, more modified than original.
05 Convertible, Legend Lime/Tan/Tan, future classic??
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