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Diary of a Southerner Who Moved North
#1
Thought you guys living through the "Polar Vortex" might relate to this:

Diary of a Southerner Who Moved North

Nov. 10 5:00 pm, it's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.

Nov. 11 We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight, every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and sidewalk. Later, a city snowplow came by and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.

Nov. 12 It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards, the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish-gray.

Nov. 13 Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought new snow tires for both cars. Fell on my rear in the driveway, $145.00 to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected tonight.

Nov. 14 Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 in order for her to get to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white crap last night. Both vehicles covered with salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. Damned snowplow came by twice today.

Nov. 15 2 degrees outside. More freaking snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my face and hands and lost my eyebrows. Car slid on the way to the emergency room and was totaled.

Nov. 16 Damned white crap just keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the freckin' mailbox. If I ever catch the sucker that drives the snowplow, I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart. I think that he hides around the corner to hit our driveway again. Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

Nov. 17 Six damn more freckin' inches of freckin' snow and freckin' sleet and freckin' ice and God knows what other kind of white crap fell last night. I wounded the snowplow creep with an ice ax, but he got away. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snow-blind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More snow predicted. Wind chill -22 degrees. I'm moving back to Texas.



“If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.”
--Albert Einstein
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#2
Why yes snow is great for the first 5 minutes then you have to go out and shovel over and over again.
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#3
Snow is acceptable for penguins and polar bears and that's it. If you're none of both, snow sucks. >:-(

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Mike

"If I were you...... I´d rather be me."  Tongue

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#4
rofl

Nearly all of the white stuff has melted here, but still about 11 degrees when I wake up every morning. Sad

Doc

[Image: 6y14ea.jpg]

Project started 8-7-10
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Current "mini-project": interior upgrade Undecided
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#5
Don C;163114 Wrote:Thought you guys living through the "Polar Vortex" might relate to this:

Diary of a Southerner Who Moved North

Nov. 10 5:00 pm, it's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.

Nov. 11 We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight, every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and sidewalk. Later, a city snowplow came by and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.

Nov. 12 It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards, the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish-gray.

Nov. 13 Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought new snow tires for both cars. Fell on my rear in the driveway, $145.00 to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected tonight.

Nov. 14 Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 in order for her to get to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white crap last night. Both vehicles covered with salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. Damned snowplow came by twice today.

Nov. 15 2 degrees outside. More freaking snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my face and hands and lost my eyebrows. Car slid on the way to the emergency room and was totaled.

Nov. 16 Damned white crap just keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the freckin' mailbox. If I ever catch the sucker that drives the snowplow, I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart. I think that he hides around the corner to hit our driveway again. Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

Nov. 17 Six damn more freckin' inches of freckin' snow and freckin' sleet and freckin' ice and God knows what other kind of white crap fell last night. I wounded the snowplow creep with an ice ax, but he got away. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snow-blind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More snow predicted. Wind chill -22 degrees. I'm moving back to Texas.

Haha Good one
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#6
LOL!!!!


67 Diamond Blue Vert

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#7
Arizona Diary

May 15th: Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 108 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car, work in an air-conditioned office. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed two days of work; what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 25th: Dry heat, my butt. Hot is hot! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the A/C repairman charged $250 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,600 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

August 4th: 115 degrees! Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $1,200 and gets the temperature down to about 90. I hate this [expletive deleted] state.

August 8th: If another wise a** cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his [expletive deleted] throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and no deodorant works well enough!

August 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and Sunny. It's been too hot to sleep for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn desert? $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the [expletive deleted] pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat.

August 14th: Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 120 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the [expletive deleted] windshield out of the BMW. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,600 house payment to bail me out of jail.

August 30th: Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house. The [expletive deleted] monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell. The BMW is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield. nobody told me about staying out of the washes during a "flash flood" warning. That does it. We're moving back to California and buying a house next to the freeway for some peace and quiet.
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#8
That's a good one, too. Smile
Having moved from Las Vegas to Central California last year I can relate to that one. I'll definitely pass it along to some friends that are in Las Vegas.



“If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.”
--Albert Einstein
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#9
Good ones Haha

Up to now there hasn't been any snow remainend on the ground but in the higher regions...

Tim

Tim

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly Angel
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#10
Hahaha oh man! I've lived all my life in Southern California (with a brief stint in Central Cali) so I feel like the first one would be super true for me. Too good.

2013 Ford Focus SE Flex Fuel 5spd - Daily Driver
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